by Chris Walsh
My Journey to Family Constellations
Mindfulness snuck into my life early, courtesy of my parents, both yoga teachers. It was a child’s version, of course—rudimentary, but a seed planted nonetheless. Fast-forward to 1983, and I found myself volunteering at a Tibetan refugee hospital in Dharamsala as a young doctor. It was there I encountered Tibetan culture and its profound wisdom.
At the time, my perception of psychiatry was far from positive, shaped by my experiences as a medical student and supporter of people navigating mental illness. So, in 1984, when I was assigned a psychiatry rotation in Beechworth, a country town, I wasn’t exactly thrilled. But surprise! Enter Dr. Max Wellstead, a compassionate psychiatrist with a love for Eastern philosophy and meditation. His approach lit a spark in me, and by 1986, I was training as a psychiatrist myself.
Fortunately, I was guided by a series of enlightened mentors who introduced me to humanistic psychiatry, family therapy, and phenomenology—lifesavers during an era when Australian psychiatry often felt cold and clinical. They taught me to keep my heart open, even when working in a system that could be brutal. Alongside this, I deepened my meditation practice and studied Eastern psychology and philosophy, weaving these influences into my work and life.
From 1985 to 2001, I completed my psychiatry training, worked in public psychiatric hospitals, and gradually transitioned into private practice after qualifying as a psychiatrist. Those years weren’t without their challenges—both personally and professionally. To navigate the swamp, I spent two years in Jungian psychotherapy, sought guidance from various Buddhist teachers (most notably Traleg Rinpoche, a Tibetan master keen on blending Buddhist and Western psychology), and joined a Gestalt growth group alongside numerous personal development workshops.
My professional training was equally eclectic: Self Psychology, Jungian psychotherapy, CBT, family therapy, trauma-sensitive approaches, and, of course, mainstream psychiatry. Later, I realized this diverse foundation was integral to my work as a Constellation Practitioner. It also became clear that elements of this training would need to be woven into how I teach others in the field
Then, in 2001, I encountered Family Constellations. Developed by German psychotherapists like Bert Hellinger and Jakob Schneider, this approach emphasized finding a respectful place for every family member, no matter their misdeeds. Its alignment with mindfulness instantly resonated with me, and I quickly realized the two approaches beautifully complemented each other.
Curious and inspired, I dove headfirst into training workshops, learning the techniques and trauma-focused approaches that address intergenerational family issues. Family constellations had an uncanny ability to resolve deeply complex problems—sometimes in a single session! It felt almost magical.
The process of representation added to this mystique. Ordinary people, standing as representatives for family members they didn’t know, could somehow intuitively “feel” and report accurate responses from the role they embodied. It didn’t require special training to participate, but facilitating the process—now that’s where skill came in.
What I discovered was transformative. Family constellations brought deep healing to my own family, as well as to colleagues and patients. While it wasn’t a cure-all, it often broke through seemingly immovable barriers.
The work attracted creative, compassionate therapists and quickly expanded to include applications beyond families—organisations, nature, and more. This explosion of creativity brought with it a fair share of chaos, but it was a thrilling time to be part of such pioneering work.
Family constellations became, and remain, a powerful, rewarding tool for healing and transformation—a blend of mystery, mindfulness, and meaningful connection.
The Problems with Family Constellations
Family Constellations is a powerful approach, but like any powerful tool, it has its pitfalls. Unfortunately, a lack of discernment in the field has led to some serious challenges. Despite the work’s emphasis on respect and reconciliation, there’s been an alarming drift toward magical thinking, poor integration with related fields like mindfulness and family therapy, and, ironically for a process that emphasises reconciliation, turf wars among practitioners.
The Double-Edged Sword of Representation
At the heart of Family Constellations lies the representational process—its greatest strength and its Achilles’ heel. While representation can spark profound healing, it also encourages leaps of logic and magical thinking. Here are some of the specific problems I’ve observed:
- Misinterpreting the Representational Field
- Ambiguity: The information that emerges isn’t always accurate or specific. For example, a constellation may suggest a father isn’t the biological parent, only for DNA testing to prove otherwise. Sometimes, the insight belongs to an earlier generation, such as a grandfather, not the person in question.
- Jumping to Conclusions: Facilitators need to avoid definitive statements about anything not backed by known facts. Hypotheses are just that—guesses. However, faciliators are often not strong enough to resist the temptation of the spectacular but unsubstantiated reveal.
- Confirmation Bias
- Facilitators must remain neutral and open-minded. Preconceived notions can derail the process. I’ve seen facilitators ignore key information because it didn’t fit their narrative, leading to poor outcomes for the seeker (the person whose family is being explored).
- De-Roling Representatives
- While unpleasant roles are often addressed, representatives left with positive but foreign sensations are frequently overlooked. This can create unintended complications, such as “constellation relationships” where representatives develop attachments that disrupt existing bonds.
The Broader Issues in Consciousness-Based Therapies
Consciousness-based therapies like meditation, psychedelic-enhanced psychotherapy, and family constellations aren’t immune to their fair share of issues. Dr. Rosalind Watts, a respected psychedelic researcher, coined the term psychedelic narcissism to capture some of these pitfalls in her field. Her insightful article, Love and Grief in the Shadow of Psychedelic Narcissism, outlines the journey many practitioners take: an initial euphoric idealism, followed by a sobering disillusionment as familiar ego-driven politics rear their ugly heads. This pattern, sadly, echoes across other therapeutic fields, including meditation and constellations.
The Shadow Side of Family Constellations
The constellation field is no stranger to problems like narcissistic rivalry, exaggerated claims, abuses of power, and shocking boundary violations. Through my own observations, I’ve identified recurring themes that derail its potential:
- The “Magic” Effect:
- Disrespect for facts and logic: The allure of constellation work often fosters intellectual arrogance and resistance to scientific scrutiny.
- Ego inflation: Practitioners may outwardly express modesty, but it’s often a façade masking unchecked self-importance.
- Spiritual bypassing: By leaning on spiritual concepts, practitioners sometimes sidestep personal or interpersonal challenges, leaving unresolved tensions festering in their professional relationships.
- Cultish Tendencies:
- This was most pronounced around Bert Hellinger, the founder of family constellations, who faced significant criticism in Germany for cult-like dynamics.
- Mini-cults have since formed around other practitioners, especially those who repeatedly draw the same participants to their workshops. This environment, unmoored from reality, often nurtures conspiracy theories, further feeding ego inflation.
The Core Issues
At the heart of these challenges lie two interconnected problems:
- Losing mindful presence and grounding in ordinary reality.
- Allowing unchecked ego inflation to thrive.
While family constellations hold transformative potential, they also invite us to tread carefully; balancing the magic with humility, accountability, and a firm grip on reality
Finding Solutions: Taming the Magic and Ego
When I joined the constellation movement, it didn’t take long to spot its problems—largely because I’d already seen them play out in the meditation world. Some Buddhist schools managed to sidestep these pitfalls with rigorous training, but transplanting such practices into the West often led to… complications. Take the case of Sogyal Rinpoche: a brilliant Tibetan teacher who, when working with Western students, spiraled into scandals involving sexual misconduct and emotional abuse
Mindfulness to the Rescue? Sort of.
The evolution of science-based mindfulness, pioneered by Jon Kabat-Zinn, offered a culturally fitting antidote for the Western mind. Immersing myself in mindfulness therapies from 2003, I hoped they might also help address the constellation world’s woes. I even launched a website to promote mindfulness in Australia before social media was a thing—back when “likes” were something you earned in person.
But soon enough, spiritual bypassing shape-shifted. Gone was the hippy-dippy vibe; enter McMindfulness. This corporate rebranding turned mindfulness into a shallow buzzword parade: “Live in the moment!” (Preferably while grinding through unpaid overtime.) Yoga mats and meditation bells became status symbols instead of tools, the mindfulness equivalent of driving a sports car to prove you’ve “arrived.” Like a would-be doctor flaunting a stethoscope, it was missing the point entirely.
These experiences served as a stark reminder: the ego is sneaky. It’s not about the tools; it’s about how we use them.
Cracking the Constellation Code
Despite these detours, I kept hunting for solutions to the constellation field’s problems. Berthold Ulsamer, a constellation trainer, offered an insightful framework: facilitators should rely on three sources of information—energy, orders, and facts.
- Energy: This is the dramatic, “magical” part of constellations that draws people in. But it’s also the least reliable. Think of it as the fireworks—not the foundation.
- Facts: These are the most solid, trustworthy elements. For instance, knowing that a father died when his son was 16, or that a family lived through the violent partition of India, provides critical context.
- Orders: These are systemic principles often rooted in biological and relational truths, like “parents come before children.” When families ignore these natural orders—say, a child carrying their mother’s grief—dysfunction creeps in. Restoring these principles often transforms the family system, and the energy flow in constellations reflects this shift.
By grounding energy in a matrix of facts and orders, we can ensure that the “magic” doesn’t run away with the show.
The Missing Ingredients
This approach helped me during my early attempts at training constellation practitioners, but I noticed two consistent challenges that many of my students faced:
- Building presence: Facilitating constellations requires a deep, focused presence, and for many, this skill takes time and practice to cultivate. It’s not something that comes overnight, even with the best of intentions. And practitioners are often not good at judging their level of presence either.
- Navigating growth with humility: As students gained confidence and competence, some naturally struggled to stay grounded. It’s a common and very human response—stepping into new abilities can sometimes bring a sense of ego inflation. It’s less about arrogance and more about the excitement (and occasional missteps) of learning something transformative.
Looking back, I realize I could have better supported my students by providing more foundational training in mindfulness, psychotherapy and traditional family therapy approaches. These disciplines offer a grounding structure, helping practitioners develop presence and humility as they grow. My students’ enthusiasm and dedication were never in question; it was my responsibility as a teacher to guide them more effectively through these natural challenges.
Growth is a journey for all of us—teachers included!
To address the challenges, I observed in the constellation field, I developed a mindfulness training program designed for anyone but particularly tailored to the needs of family constellation practitioners. Central to this was fostering genuine humility—a quality I emphasized through mindful awareness and a process I called dampening. This aimed to keep practitioners grounded and resistant to the temptations of ego inflation.
Representations: A Balanced Path for Constellation Practitioners
Structure of the Training
Mindfulness Components
The program consisted of three six-week units, each culminating in a full-day retreat:
- Establishing a Practice: Building a solid foundation for mindfulness.
- Developing the Inner Witness & Building Mindful Resilience: Cultivating self-awareness and emotional strength.
- Cultivating the Fruits of Resilience: Applying mindfulness to practical and creative pursuits.
For constellation practitioners, I created two specialized modules:
- Mindfulness of Emotions: Navigating emotional landscapes with clarity and compassion.
- Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Honouring the complexity of trauma while supporting healing.
- Deliberate Integration of Mindfulness Practices when facilitating a representation.
Family therapy and systemic Therapy
Special components
- Bridging Worlds with Mindful Representations Mindful Representation training equips practitioners to interpret constellation experiences in ways that resonate with real families across different cultures and eras. Whether imagining the societal constraints of a 1950s household or the struggles of a German family during WWII, practitioners learn to connect deeply and authentically with these contexts.
- Logic and Scientific Rigor: Encouraging critical thinking and inoculation against fake news and conspiracy theories.
- The Power of Metaphor: Exploring how poetic language and metaphor can transcend logic to create transformative insights.
A Balanced Approach
Mindful Representations offers a more structured and grounded approach than traditional constellations while leaving room for creativity and inspiration. It’s a way to explore the transformative “magic” of systemic constellations without wandering into unhelpful or harmful territory.
While traditional systemic constellations offer exciting opportunities for exploration, they sometimes risk leading practitioners and clients down unproductive rabbit holes. Mindful Representations aims to balance that creative potential with a firm respect for facts, mindfulness practices, authentic humility, and systemic understanding.
A Friendly Evolution
Mindful Representations isn’t about setting ourselves apart from the constellation world but about complementing it. By combining rigor and creativity, we hope to maintain a collaborative, respectful relationship while offering an approach grounded in clarity, compassion, and mindful presence
n approach grounded in clarity, compassion, and mindful presence.